lawandacannon
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« on: August 18, 2012, 02:19:43 AM » |
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My chocolate complexion allows me to hide in the reflection of darkness,
shadows bouncing back on themselves…I am invisible.
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david eberhardt
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« Reply #1 on: August 18, 2012, 02:48:10 AM » |
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and so i as a white am invisible during the day?
i don't like these racial stereotypes- it's bs
cut me-i'm red
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lawandacannon
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« Reply #2 on: August 18, 2012, 03:02:27 AM » |
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You are allowed to have your opinions, but the words and meaning of this poem are not meant to have a negative connotation about race at all. Yes, I did use the words chocolate complexion, which means people of color, but in all reality, you can apply the idea to many happenings in life...the idea being that people, animals, issues in everyday life in our country and others may go unseen or uncared for because sometimes people can't look past the surface of what is before them.
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emel
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« Reply #3 on: August 18, 2012, 05:27:46 AM » |
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Don't worry about it, Dave's on his period.
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war is not the answer - Marvin Gaye
but it's not the question either - ML
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dannen
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« Reply #4 on: August 18, 2012, 12:31:08 PM » |
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the word "allows" makes the difference
invisibility is a choice not forced upon
I like this. I can see someone in the shadows observing life.
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I always want honest constructive critique.
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david eberhardt
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« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2012, 11:39:46 PM » |
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i'm colored- i'm beige and pink w liver spots- i dunno
you're making the same point that wright did in invisible man
it was ok once- been there done that
you have not provided enough political context to let us know where you are coming from
what- we're sposed to divine all that?
besides- why wld u hide- why not come out like nat turner (or john brown)- fighting?!?!?!
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constantine
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« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2012, 01:59:15 AM » |
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Why not go the extra mile and think up a title?
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« Last Edit: August 19, 2012, 01:44:27 PM by constantine »
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lawandacannon
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« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2012, 02:53:17 PM » |
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I was unsure what to title it and I enjoyed the idea of people being able to interpret the poem as they like because once the poem leaves my hands it becomes whatever people make it to be depending on their understanding of it.
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constantine
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« Reply #8 on: August 19, 2012, 03:45:30 PM » |
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Yes, titles kind of lead the reader sometimes
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lawandacannon
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« Reply #9 on: August 19, 2012, 03:51:06 PM » |
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I'll keep that in mind and title all my poems from here on out. Thank you so much.
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BardmasterUB05
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« Reply #10 on: August 19, 2012, 06:07:07 PM » |
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Welcome aboard, Law?, aside from lack of titles, may I suggest we comment on a few other's poems, too? And not flood the board??? Thank you, and once achieved, may you rest in the PIB pasture. It's not the reader's job to complete poems.
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constantine
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« Reply #11 on: August 19, 2012, 06:10:43 PM » |
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It doesn't matter, I guess. a minor point. The poem stands on its own regardless.
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lawandacannon
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« Reply #12 on: August 19, 2012, 06:12:13 PM » |
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Thanks for the welcome and my name is Lawanda. I'll be sure to comment on a few others poems.
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BardmasterUB05
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« Reply #13 on: August 20, 2012, 01:58:38 AM » |
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I like the name, Lawanda!
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david eberhardt
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« Reply #14 on: August 21, 2012, 08:11:53 PM » |
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i gues if i were blue i'd b invisible on a good day- grey- invisible on a bad
but i know what u mean
i just feel it needs elaboration
i no yr not a racist- like ryan and romney
best, dave
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