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77347 Posts in 11430 Topics- by 6401 Members - Latest Member: uacummings5821

May 19, 2013, 03:20:52 PM
Poetry In BaltimorePoetry ForumsPost Your PoetryShampoo
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junemansfield
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« on: July 26, 2012, 02:03:05 PM »
The clawed feet on the bathtub say yes
there is someone else who wants to run
submerged
and with clean hair

As I travel in that vat with all the dirt
that won't get off
that won't go down
which jumps back on

between my toes when I am hurried
between my legs when I am not

I am reminded that you were always hurried
between my legs
and I come easier now

that you're not around to do it wrong
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constantine
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« Reply #1 on: July 26, 2012, 02:14:17 PM »
nice - i like the structure - the craft; the little things - the repetitions that combine to give the poem life. the attitude doesn't hurt either!
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alias shifter
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« Reply #2 on: July 26, 2012, 02:23:29 PM »
Love the tone
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emel
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« Reply #3 on: July 26, 2012, 03:39:22 PM »
>>likes that you come easier now

nothing worse than a self-centered lover
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war is not the answer - Marvin Gaye
but it's not the question either - ML
dannen
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« Reply #4 on: July 26, 2012, 03:48:35 PM »
LKE!
makes me want to take a bath... right now

welcome to PIB
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lawandacannon
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« Reply #5 on: August 23, 2012, 06:46:37 PM »
-I liked the connection between the image and feeling behind taking a bath (soothing, relaxing, calming) and the relief of the sexual partner not being around/being able to come (no more stress).
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david eberhardt
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« Reply #6 on: August 25, 2012, 01:09:44 AM »
could u dedicate this to clairol?
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