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77347 Posts in 11430 Topics- by 6401 Members - Latest Member: uacummings5821

May 19, 2013, 10:58:30 PM
Poetry In BaltimorePoetry ForumsPost Your Poetry karaoke (empty orchestra)
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CoolJude
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« on: August 25, 2009, 04:25:33 PM »

karaoke (empty orchestra)

she  was the type
of blonde that tried
way too hard to please
but in her string bikini
she felt she ruled
her designer sunglasses
hide the creases
her mesh metallic cover up
fringes camouflaged cellulite
the white fear
still whispers in her ear
« Last Edit: August 28, 2009, 12:38:04 AM by CoolJude » Logged
"This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased."
Charles Dickens
constantine
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« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2009, 06:26:28 PM »
missed reading your work. this is pretty tight!
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BardmasterUB05
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« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2009, 07:04:07 PM »
a sporty, yet dark stylish piece, CoolestJude. always tight, I agree. when's our next reading? let me know. ---Bardy
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saw
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« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2009, 09:45:38 PM »
streamlined inspiration, as always........nicely done, Ms. Jude
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moe, larry, cheese....no, Limburger !
alias shifter
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« Reply #4 on: August 26, 2009, 02:54:17 AM »
sweet and hip
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folkpoet
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« Reply #5 on: August 26, 2009, 06:50:12 AM »
Loved it, though it is a kind of sad piece! We all know people like this! Well done!
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I'm following many roads, using poetry as my map.
emel
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« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2009, 08:06:34 AM »
liked it till the end CJ, I'd lose the last line
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war is not the answer - Marvin Gaye
but it's not the question either - ML
CoolJude
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« Reply #7 on: August 28, 2009, 12:39:18 AM »
hi everyone, thanks for the comments and Scott I did revise according to your suggestion.
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"This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased."
Charles Dickens
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