next »

[HaroHalola]

she
was just a girl
'splaying rubiauburn caracole
in dingy sunlight
as hungry danced 'round
hungry for something

she was just a girl

a daughter-mother
born
to skill & scullery
as the others danced
merry into dingy sunlight
hungry for something
she
& jessedressy

she was just a girl

only
the strains of music assuaged,
like an unfamiliar bosom's
familiar melody,
to the wireless
or of the paucitous street
marconi 'n cheese
never cheesy enough

she was just a girl

whirls, & whirled
of pirates & barons
abandoned
like a vested, barren jessedressy
to
citizenbest
restive for something
beyond vacancy
& vacated friends,
now coveted

she was just a girl

before
me,
of violate pianokey smudge:
what size?  critisize,
home to eyes
streaked like windows
in her dingy sunlight
born to moaning,
when our cord was cut
she cried
plentimental
mother
is the necessity of invention

she was just a girl

two centenaries
rubiauburn caracole
too soon silvered
to bleach white
like marrowless bones
fed on resentaplenty...
wilting silk flowers
she
was just a girl

she was just a girl

                        H.e.m.
                        4.19.MMix
                        (For F)

[WIREMAN]

always diggin' your work H.H......headin' out toget a pack of resentaplenties.........

[emel]

first time I've gotten through one of yours HH with a sense that my feet were still under me and a nice feeling of well being.

sounds like quite a girl,

Scott

[HaroHalola]

AMainManWIREMAN - Blown-away by your response, lafffin'-out-loud at the colorful pac of Resentaplenty's, by your incitation, afore me!  And now back to R. Cray -   H'H./H.e.m.

[HaroHalola]

emel/S - So very pleased to learn of not only your attention to my Work, but perseverance for the experience which allowed you to remain perpendicular, & somewhat floated!  I do apologize for the other times this was less-than-extant; your perspicacity for the "girl" is aknowledged...yet there's a greater darkness to the Piece -   H'H./H.e.m.

[Light Haven]

When I read your poems again and again I always find myself saying to myself things like "Haro is really good",  "tremendous technical control", "great range", "craft with precision and meaning" "He's there", "could I do this?" No.

[HaroHalola]

LH - If you choose to paint my Work with one brush stroke, you've done me, & yourself a haute dis-service in regard to tenor & timbre; to list the Poems antithetical to your query would be both time-consuming & unnecessary folly.  A simple search here (& other venues I Post to) will reveal the panoply to which I happily refer.  There is no doubt 'bout the state of Morlde, even ignorance Itself is coming to fore to view the inanities.  My Work attempts to encompass & serve all.

As regards your Writer's prowess, I ref. you to http://poetryinbaltimore.com/smf/index.php?topic=21646.0

Why dwell on (the Work of) another, when time might be better utilized furthering one's own Literary Passions?  But, TY!   H'H./H.e.m.

[folkpoet]

Since I have been on PIB, I've always admired your unique writes and this one is no exception! You are one of a kind! But I guess I can say that for many on PIB, which is why I love it here! Everyone does their own thing and it seems that everyone does it well! Keep on HH!!!!

[Light Haven]

Haro, deleted my first post. feel it was just an idle comment. no intent to describe the scope of your work.

[dave eberhardt]

very much yes- very much yesness-
as usual i find myself wondering- who is this guy behind the moniker/nickname- is he from baltimore? have we met?- anyway- please contact me and let me kno- mozela9@comcast.net
even PIB could b more communicative, more communal
"dingy sunlight"- is a phrase that merits-
my kind of poetry

[dave eberhardt]

and let me tell u this:
this kind of poetry will not get published much in "establishment" venues?
why?
because they do not want to "take a chance"
but what else is life about?

mr hawaii man- harola harola- you keep rt on doing this stuff!

[theirishsea]

  'splaying rubiauburn caracole

I looked that up as I had no clue---well, an interesting and very creative image---caracole is a half-turn of a horse in dressage. Rubiauburn is both the color of a horse (maybe similar to "roan") and, more importantly here, the color of the girl's hair as she turns----this explanation doesn't capture the brilliance of the expression, the metaphor. It is one of those little details that people may say "I dunno" or just shrug off in the general impression of the poem but this little detail does work beautifully and there ain't many people that could pull this off, much less come up with it.

The 'splaying is both a contraction for displaying and, perhaps, splaying as in spreading out---the turning movement spreads out her hair---just momentarily but the eye captures it---the poem is like a photograph here.

[theirishsea]

only
the strains of music assuaged,
like an unfamiliar bosom's
familiar melody,
to the wireless
or of the paucitous street
marconi 'n cheese
never cheesy enough


this is creative writing of a high order. Let's get into a couple of areas of possible dispute or unbelief. "paucitous" is not in my dictionary but it must have reference to "paucity" which is an abstraction of scarity, dearth. I give license to a poet for coining words. 'paucitous street" is poor neighborhood street---poor? How? Maybe economicly, maybe culturally, spiritually---but impoverished in many ways. The pun in thwe next line "marconi 'n cheese"----a poor diet of macaroni---starch as the staple of a poor man's diet. But of course that is only part of the nmeaning of that pun---marconi referring back to "wireless" and communication.

This is rich poetry. This is Shakespeare meets Paul Klee. This is James Joyce who is American and lives inh Florida now.

[theirishsea]

The poem as a whole flows well. It usually a maybe trite song lyric "she was just a girl" and fleshes it out with wondrous verbal manipulation whose friction sparks color----and borrowing saw's interesting phrase from his poem "she was"---granulated color.

You have to read these poems closely. No, I won't claim that everything H.E.M. writes works all the time but much of it does and in ways that are surprising.   

[HaroHalola]

folkpoet -  TY; It seems this Piece has been the spark for several in-depth, astute comments, which as you have suggested is a motivation for your presence.  I would hope all here are endeavoring not only to be "one-of-a-kind," rather one-in-a-kind, which would set the tone for Writers/Poets to be the vanguards...  On to my other cohorts for propers+.   H'H./H.e.m.