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[BardmasterUB05]

Dear Mr Poet,
Did you see any difference at the reading? Tell yer' these radicals are sum' tightwad no good Chickosticks.

-Legal Rifleman

[constantine]

dear legal rifleman,

we need a new deal - a new poetry deal. readings with substance and food - good food. krumpets, maybe even krimpets.

signed,

mr. tastypoet

[BardmasterUB05]

Dear Mr Poet,
We cook with only the finest ingredients, n' why not celebrate poetry, the art of writers with only the finest presentations, care, hospitality ,planning? This country's intellectual circuit has turned into a bunch of lazy pigs. I went to a reading years ago and several of the poems were about food ,and all they serve was stale coffee and rotten nabisco chocolate chip cookies from the food store. the moderator got there nearly late. my greek, Italian, latino, Irish, compadres never treat yes like that.

Sincerely,
Legal Bardy

[constantine]

dear legal bardy,

in constantinople when i was a young mr. poet - they called me effendi poet back then - they would serve me baklava and have their turkish daughters belly-dancing as i read. i found the lutes and cymbals a bit distracting,
BUT, i was their guest and accepted their infidel hospitality graciously.

signed,

mr. poet

[BardmasterUB05]

Dear Mr Poet,
From one Master to another, I tip my hat to your excellence! You still like biscotti? By the way, shakespeare just might kick everybody's ass.

Sincerely,
Bard(master) Fred Cousins in lead at Augusta , Masters Tournament. Just lost $$$ on Tiger...shit!!!

[constantine]

dear mr. poet,

what is a biscotti? is it a gangster?

signed,

luke from dubuque

[constantine]

dear mr. poet,

word is on the streets that you're back in b-town. there's been sightings of you in numerous alleys and cul de sacs in highlandtown and points east. why don't you walk on the common thoroughfares like a normal citizen? are you up to something?

signed,

that old gang of mine

[constantine]

... mr. poet at city lit festival!!! ...


free autographs ($2 donation)

do it for the kids!

[constantine]

dear mr. poet,

i thought i saw you at the pratt cog festival. never have so many done so little - and then have a festival about it! herr doctor was there rubbing elbows with the "big boys" - slinging platitudes heavily-laden with literati crapolla of the highest magnitude. i think they went to school together back in the dim recesses of the last century. he's good at slinging the shit though - i'll give him that. the same old same olds were there - only older this time. they had this red table (the red was to signify that they were important) where they could sign autographs - i asked one anal retentive poet (i think he keeps his pencil up his ass) if he could sign it brooks robinson instead, he sniffed a couple times like he had clogged sinuses or some respiratory affliction. it was a festival for academia, by academia, supported by academia for the proliferation of their own kind. i say good luck on that. by the time i left, i was ashamed i had gone there in the first place, as if i had compromised my integrity - sort of like being an silent witness to poetic murder. hirsch and lux were pretty good, but nothing to fawn over - in fact, if you took their best attributes and combined them into one poetic entity, you might get a watered down version of mr. poet - maybe.

signed,

clarissa melissa

[BardmasterUB05]

Dear Mr Poet,
Sounds more like a root canal in an ER. Maybe the venue is more intimidating than the Barney & Ignoble, though, the joint does remind you of a place Cicero would orate. Did they offer any biscotti? See any Lefties? Propaganda machines seem to be growing again. Did the NRA have a Booth? Any DNA poems? Any children? Sheesh!

House of Homer

[BardmasterUB05]

Dear Mr Poet,
Oh...outside of the English sonnets, did anyone pay homage to Homer? being it Greek Easter today? Sheesh, 3x!

House of Homer

[constantine]

dear homer,

they mentioned homer once - a shameless case of name-dropping. i think herr doctor was comparing one of his poet pals to homer. it was akin to comparing a meatball to filet mignon - the meatball part was right on though. all in all, it was stuffy, pretentious, and, of course, boring - as these affairs inevitably seem to be.

signed,

mr. poet

[BardmasterUB05]

Dear Mr Poet,
A mere once? Nearly 40,000 lines of brilliance, and they dis' a poet like Homer? I would have slapped them with a bit of Pindar, Aeschylus n' Charleton Heston.

House of Homer

[constantine]

dear house of homer,

there was an even bigger crowd at the soup kitchen across the street - i think pratt hired on extra security poets to keep them separated.

signed,

mr. poet

 

[BardmasterUB05]

Dear Mr Poet,
The same gun-totting officers they disrespect?  If there had been a riot, they would have called in the military. Then they would have worshipped the firearm.

House of Homer