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[Ace Vaun Winhigher]

The rain hits the ground
A thunderous sound
A drowning tone.

The lamplight dim
The look grim
Soaked to the bone.

The feeling of regret
My mind beset
As I stare.

Rain scarlet as blood
Streams of mud
Like I wasn't there.

Book in my hand
In pain I stand
The pages stained red.

My chest I grasp
Realization brings a gasp
I fall over dead.

[constantine]

i think you've played that rhyme scheme for all it's worth. ditto with the scarlet routine. you need to expand your bag of tricks. you have talent and should open up into different directions, poetically. i'm sure you will disagree, but what the hell.

[Ace Vaun Winhigher]

Well if one only looks to the next best thing, and is not aware of what got him there, then failure is a certainty. I've done allot of expanding and compounding over the years. That's how I've become such a good poet. By never loosing sight of my root formats or wording. I am still in the growing mold of poetry, the experimentation stage. I feel the way I write, the words I use, and the format in which I use them is a personal portrait of my art. So that said, I still appreciate your comment, and I'm still experimenting with my writing.

[captdavis]

I'm sorry but I can't not say anything any longer. You ought to get of the high horse and take some advice from a proper talent like dino. He is just trying to help. and yes, your format is tired and trite. In your words I see no identity but faceless, mundane, wallowing. I feel it's arrogant for you to say of yourself "such a good poet". You obviously are far too full of yourself to realize the only "experimentation" in your work is a practice in futility. It sounds like you read too much poe but didnt take any of his genious from his work, instead settling for  "emo macabre". for heaven's sake SAY SOMETHING.

if you are always looking back, you will go no where. a far more profound truth than your first line of response.

I'm sorry I just couldn't keep quite any longer. your ego is stepping on my toes.

[Ace Vaun Winhigher]

LOL, dude chill, read what's said! I appreciate judgments and comments, As for my Ego, sorry NO wrong. I myself think humbly of myself, the "good poet" comes from his comment of "you have talent" I do not call any of the works that I create flawless, hence my "growing" comment. You know from a mental standpoint I must assess that someone who jumps to conclusions based on flimsy commendation is defensive, and in this case perhaps insecure about his own poetry. Thus lashing out at others as a way to draw attention away from his own flaws. I've stated quite clearly that I am just a student of the art, not anything extraordinary, perhaps it is you that needs to get of your high horse as that is where such defensive comments come from.

[captdavis]

I have nothing to defend but a friend trying to help you out. but by all means, cling to your bullshit brother. we will continue to enjoy NOT reading it.

[Ace Vaun Winhigher]

Defending? I said I appreciate his comment, Grow up dude.