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saw
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« on: September 13, 2008, 09:40:31 PM » |
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You brother,
whose knees ache
with your contributions
to obese cats
that shed their dirty alley digs
for concrete and polished metal
aeries, sit with me
tonight, beside the fires
that burn white hot
in the faces of young bucks
that have no compasses.
You sister,
whose broken back
signals a lifetime of obedience
in the rigors of daily pain
that lined the ceilings
of limos in crushed velvet,
crushed dreams, sit
with me, tell me the stories
of forgotten picket fences,
picket lines, and misplaced
plans for eternal love.
Sit with me,
ageless worker, let me tap
your almighty fountains
of bloody memories,
so they will spew like
the piss of the poor,
revolutionary in historical
scope, measured in pounds
of flesh per square inch,
determined and straight
like a possessed fire hose
of displaced hope,
wrapped in heat-seeking justice....
fire away, true as your heart,
dead on, square in the ugly kisser....
blinding the black caviar eyes
of diamond-faced ogres.
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moe, larry, cheese....no, Limburger !
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constantine
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« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2008, 10:06:35 PM » |
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i like this a lot - it speaks compassionate truth. i think the ending comes on a little strong and undercuts the tone and emotion that precedes it - though i agree with the conclusion irregardless.
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« Last Edit: September 13, 2008, 10:08:40 PM by constantine »
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folkpoet
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« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2008, 11:21:09 PM » |
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The ending is strong, but it drives home the poem! Again, exquisite work!
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I'm following many roads, using poetry as my map.
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azure
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« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2008, 12:38:03 AM » |
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Very strong and powerful, saw. So much to learn from them, if we would only listen.
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saw
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« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2008, 12:55:39 PM » |
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thanx, dino, edwin and susie......dino, I will consider an alternate ending.....thanx
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moe, larry, cheese....no, Limburger !
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constantine
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« Reply #5 on: September 14, 2008, 01:11:37 PM » |
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would like to add that those people are not them - they are us. that perspective that they are something different than us is part of the problem. we have relegated the poor into this group we pity -objects of charity, which i believe is demeaning and a poor substitute for real social action. they are us - we drop into that economic situation everyday. the very fact that we accept poverty - and this wide gulf between have and have not - speaks volumes in and of itself. the strength of the poem is that it addresses them as people - which should not be surprising, but unfortunately still seems to be.
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« Last Edit: September 14, 2008, 01:25:24 PM by constantine »
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saw
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« Reply #6 on: September 14, 2008, 05:48:51 PM » |
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thanks for your additional comments, I concur.....we are the working poor,
beholding to insensitive employers that pay us a salary not commensurate with
the rapidly rising cost of living....there is abject poverty of course, and this other group that can still rack up huge credit card debts they have no chance of repaying....the government has greatly tightened up the bankruptcy laws, so now
Visa and Mastercard are coming after your other assets, primarily your house
if you have one...many Americans ( approx. 50 million) are without health insurance and are about 3 pay checks from collapse.....Somehow, as you point out
these two groups must unite to form a force to reckon with...we will need to link arms, these two groups of poor, in our struggle to meet our basic needs....instead of looking down or pitying we will need for the good of all mankind to help empower
the poorest of the poor. I haven't articulated this as well as I would like, but that's the best I can do at this moment....gotta go...it's my daughter Eria's
birthday....she has convinced her girlfriends and myself to cut off our ponytails for the group Locks of Love that makes human hair wigs for cancer patients...
We are about to march down to the Chop Shop on Harford Rd.....then there
will be cake and ice cream and believe it or not ( also her idea) a pie fight.
Hopefully one day, all wars, will be of this nature....
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moe, larry, cheese....no, Limburger !
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constantine
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« Reply #7 on: September 14, 2008, 05:57:04 PM » |
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happy birthday to your charming daughter. she impressed me - in such a short time - as an intelligent and compassionate young lady. wish i had a ponytail!
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saw
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« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2008, 11:55:17 AM » |
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thanx, my friend, I gave her a hug from Uncle Dino....alas the ponytail is no more..
it was a riot, a bunch of girls and myself getting haircuts...what a party !
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moe, larry, cheese....no, Limburger !
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BardmasterUB05
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« Reply #9 on: September 15, 2008, 01:12:04 PM » |
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Several wonderful moments in this painting, saw: broken back, obedience, daily pain.It's all measured in pounds, human that is.
Sit with me,
ageless worker, let me tap
your almighty fountains
of bloody memories
A profound moment in this piece.
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CoolJude
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« Reply #10 on: September 15, 2008, 11:20:40 PM » |
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This poem is so beautifully worded that it transports me to
an earlier time period, very classical.
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"This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased."
Charles Dickens
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saw
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« Reply #11 on: September 16, 2008, 04:07:44 PM » |
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thanx mike and jude...the feedback on this poem was diverse and quite helpful..
thanx to all........
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moe, larry, cheese....no, Limburger !
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