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[Ace Vaun Winhigher]

Revaluated my life today
Why am I still here?
I sit in regret
Of the things I fear.

So much more to give
But gripped with terror
That I’ll fall flat on my face.

I took a look at my soul
Withered and afraid.
Felt my heart sink
My emotions frayed.

I could be better
But terrified to try
These demons chase.

Analyzed my fears
Found myself inside.
Cold and crying
In the darkness I hide.

I’ve seen much
Yet more I can see
But that step I can’t take

Why am I still alive
When there’s nowhere to go?
Trapped in my own insecurity
Of what I don’t know.

So here I sit evaluating
Afraid of the answer
As my own life I forsake.

[Ace Vaun Winhigher]

I have no clue if this poem is any good, it was a experiment, I tried 2 things diffrent with this one. 1. I just let the thoughts flow out of me onto page. 2. the obvious blend of styles.

[constantine]

to me, the emotion sounds more sincere - i can feel what you are saying. sometimes the subconscious will organize your emotions into poetic expression - sometimes it's good to get out of the way and let one's self speak without a lot of conscious reorganization.

[saw]

in my opinion, if you are sincere about letting your thoughts flow onto the page, as you say, give up on the rhyming
Rhyme can work, can be interesting with its repetitive sounds, but can also be restrictive when you are really trying to uncover your deepest emotions.....have you tried to write free style ? If not, perhaps you should give a whirl, and see what you end up with. Best of luck either way, trying to analyze oneself is a monumental task, but the deeper we dig, the closer we get to contentment. Or as the Indigo Girls said in one of their songs, "The closer I am to fine"