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77454 Posts in 11442 Topics- by 6401 Members - Latest Member: uacummings5821

June 20, 2013, 06:44:17 AM
Poetry In BaltimorePoetry ForumsPost Your PoetryMaybe a Metronome
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wiselilraccoon
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« on: January 29, 2008, 10:52:08 PM »

Maybe a Metronome

The work is done, anyway.
You dragged me out of my cave, just by your scent,
and the you I attached to it.

And so I lost weight,
remembered I had hair and styled it.
I bought clothes in case you might
notice.  You might have.

I studied your movements, as if you were a
constellation I would join in the velvet blanket, as if
you were a timepiece, maybe a metronome,
and you would hear me sing and chord.

You might have, but you couldn’t admit it.
You had momentum, you had flow.
You had a passport and I had a cave.

So I am alone still but the work is done.
Some other lonely hunter will swirl around
the kill you missed in your momentum,

the corazon you crushed in your flow.

--Wren Tuatha   http://wiselittleraccoon.gaia.com/
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constantine
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« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2008, 11:16:11 AM »

nice imagery.
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saw
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« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2008, 11:28:42 AM »

I read this last night, but didn't have time to comment, but I'm glad, because this morning it spoke to me even louder....this really is a terrific story of how someone that is given the right attention, can blossom....then a certain sadness is presented as the personification of the reason for the transformation walks away ...I really love this part:

Some other lonely hunter will swirl around
the kill you missed in your momentum,.............this is a stunning language, so beautiful and powerful in its message

and I think is a kind of resolution to the pain, ...that the speaker takes a positive from the whole experience and will be able to move on quite nicely. ......very nice read.....
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Light Haven
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« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2008, 12:46:23 PM »

"I studied your movements, as if you were a
constellation" . Like this image particularly.  Meant to comment yesterday, but sometimes poems are almost androgynous. It is hard to feel if the poem was written by a woman or a man.  This poem has a unique woman's performance which still feels as if it has universal applications for many women who have had a similar experience.
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Slazinger
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« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2008, 11:35:47 PM »

I think this poem is beautiful. 
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Real art is always a gift.
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