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[ChrisGeorge]

The Sea, the Seals, the Seer, and Me

He can not see me: the seer I came to see
and to honor by the sea.  Seals bark below
in the roiling green bay.  I read my poetry
in homage. The seer sits silent in his chair.

I fear he thinks my poems noisome. Could he be
asleep, fleeing my cheap and naive dreamscapes?
Is he relaxing on an island in some other ocean,
far removed from the clamor of my clumsy verse?

I feel disturbed, thinking the old man is gleaning
not an iota from my creed.  Oh, how I’m suffering.
To him, my blood could be juice from sliced beets.
Enough from me.  I cease and desist, screed over.

His wife beckons me over to meet him.  The seer seizes
my hand in a strong grip, fire-warm, wordless: a jolt
like the current from an electric eel passes between us.
She sighs, "He no longer sees, but he loves your poetry."

Christopher T. George

[MikeMonroe]

I love the sound of this.  The recurring "EE" sounds remind me of waves breaking, and the steady rhythm also adds to that feeling.  I also like the idea of the nervous poet reading in front of the older seer and thinking that the older man doesn't like the poetry, when in reality he's quietly taking it all in and enjoying it.  A lot going on here and it's a good read.

[ChrisGeorge]

Thanks, Mike.

Chris

[constantine]

I am really impressed by your form. No matter what form you use in your poetry, it always is worked with expertise.

[dave eberhardt]

chris- was this seamus heany? who was this seer?
what was the other person saying about fascists? why was he saying this?
was this that blind south american guy- neruda? was he blind?
the poem can only be so mysterious- the more it answers, the better- hence we have rumi when he says- "u felt that part of thge elephant/we call the scrotum/u proceeded/to the asshole/ then the elephant/ shit on yr. head/ case closed
this from yr. fiend dave eberhardt  at  mozela9@bcpl.net  or 410-235-7507
why doesn't any one ever call me
i live alone in a bog
frong in bog  dave e

[dave eberhardt]

haiku # 4389
by david eberhardt
mozela9@bcpl.net
410-235-7507

1  dedicated to julie fisher

these boxes
keep arising
so i think i'll


#2  title is let yrself play


if some one calls me
at this #
there'll b a prize

[lesliefmiller]

Dave, you shouldn't put your poems in someone else's poem thread.  Or your phone number.  Poets don't call.  ;-)

Chris, I like the playful language here.  It works for me.  And those people can be any people you want them to be; even better, they can be anyone I want them to be.  And I don't think there's any mystery.  It's perfectly clear.  Nice work.

[ChrisGeorge]

Hi Constantine, Leslie, and Dave

Thank you each for your kind words about this poem.

I have fictionalized the situation and slicked it up for my own purposes.  The work is based on an occasion described in Liverpool poet Roger McGough's autobiography in which he related reading at an event to honor Robert Graves by the sea on Majorca.  Graves was not blind at the time but was quite aged.

Chris

[constantine]

I'm a big fan of Graves; not so much for his poetry (which is excellent) but moreso for his work on poetics in the "White Goddess " and his equally profound the "Greek Myths" - his historical fiction is no slouch either.

[theirishsea]

Excellent writing here. Great descriptions as always. Excellent sound in rthe poem---the long eee's. And much interior landscaping as well. This poem is as much about the interior feelings of the aspiring poet as it is a description of a meeting with a young writer and a celebrated older (in this case very old) writer.

The title reminds me of a Michael Moore film---that's another story. The title is a capsule of so much & "the seals" are as much seals of approval as the barking kind.

My favorite metaphor is the blood-beets comparison.

[dave eberhardt]

 from dave eberhardt- mozela9@bcpl.net
there is a reply to thread and then a post reply- very confusing- i thot i had posted a reply but i do not see it
what i said was (i'm going to try again) (o yes- i have the energy to do it)
now i have forgotten what i was going to say
no- leslie- now, don't u lecture me- I LIST MY PHONE # BECUZ I AM A MASOCHIST- I KNO THAT POETS DONT CALL_ IT GIVES ME PLEASURE- the silence
chris- yr. poem is intriguing- let it remain mysterious- now that i kno a bit abt what it is about?
.....well.....
i apologise at this hour for being scatological

[lesliefmiller]

Dave, there's a quick reply and a Post Reply.  There's also another pink button next to the Post Reply.  It says New Thread.  That's the one you want.

[scottcolburn]

Mr. George,  
since you have told us that the seer is McGough's version of Robert Graves, I must say that you (or McGough, or both) captured well part of Graves' literary persona, which is to say his ability to be more engaged and sharper than people think he is.  In works I've read by Graves there's a quiet amusement at being taken for less than he is, since he is generally confident of his own powers.  At any rate, it comes through the poem, along with a kind of decency in the face of an awful world that also seemed to me an essential part of Graves' persona.  

On the other hand, I enjoyed the poem as much not knowing who the speaker or the seer might be.  As others have said, the music of the language is wonderful (though I would shorten dreamscapes to dreams, and not use the legalese phrase cease and desist).  And as long as I didn't know the seer to be Robert Graves, I also didn't know him to be a fellow poet (of the speaker's) which I thought made the poem grander.  
I could go on, but hey, I'm just grateful for your correct use of "noisome."  If I had more space I give a more fulsome critque.  
Cheers
Scott

[ChrisGeorge]

Thank you, Scott, Dan, Leslie and Dave.  Scott, glad you were able to relate to this as a comment on Graves as well as to my particular take on Graves (or the seer).  Dan, once more, I am grateful to receive your appreciative comments.

All my best

Chris

[shadowr]

This has such a wonderful flavor of fable or myth about it. I can't add much more to the astute comments of the others, but know I appreciate its craftsmanship as well.

I had an editor friend who had a bugaboo about "cannot." He said it was always one word. Might be worth checking.